I much prefer that expression to "a bee in your bonnet". Imagining an entire birthday party of piñata swatters running for their lives makes me laugh. I have a waspish sense of humor.
Once, when I was a little girl, I had a third 'eye' for about three weeks. I purposely annoyed a wasp just to see if I could out run it on my roller skates. Fail.
But I made the best of a bad situation. My third eye was quite the center of attention in my second grade class. For about a week, nearly every previously loyal classmate ushered me to the front of the classroom for "Show and Tell". These days, I would have had my own show on "Fatal Attractions".
After the first week, when my third eye showed no sign of respectfully receding, I was then exhibited in the older health classes as a prime example of what a very small, angry, venomous, insect can do to the human body. Children drew pictures. They took measurements. They even invited the Principal. They did mathematical calculations of how many wasps it would have taken to kill me.
Then, just when I was beginning to bask in and enjoy the limelight of eternal fame and glory, I went wading in Silver Creek. I had been given specific instructions to "STAY AWAY FROM THE DAMNED CREEK." God and Mother took note of my disobedience. I contracted pneumonia and spent the next week in the hospital. My third eye disappeared there. I think the nurses with the penicillin needles did something with my third eye and it's probably in a formaldehyde bottle at some famous university like Harvard or Yale.
Go ahead and go to the piñata parties, but plan an escape route in advance. Unless of course, you think you can outrun a wasp. Good luck. Want to borrow my skate key?
Once, when I was a little girl, I had a third 'eye' for about three weeks. I purposely annoyed a wasp just to see if I could out run it on my roller skates. Fail.
But I made the best of a bad situation. My third eye was quite the center of attention in my second grade class. For about a week, nearly every previously loyal classmate ushered me to the front of the classroom for "Show and Tell". These days, I would have had my own show on "Fatal Attractions".
After the first week, when my third eye showed no sign of respectfully receding, I was then exhibited in the older health classes as a prime example of what a very small, angry, venomous, insect can do to the human body. Children drew pictures. They took measurements. They even invited the Principal. They did mathematical calculations of how many wasps it would have taken to kill me.
Then, just when I was beginning to bask in and enjoy the limelight of eternal fame and glory, I went wading in Silver Creek. I had been given specific instructions to "STAY AWAY FROM THE DAMNED CREEK." God and Mother took note of my disobedience. I contracted pneumonia and spent the next week in the hospital. My third eye disappeared there. I think the nurses with the penicillin needles did something with my third eye and it's probably in a formaldehyde bottle at some famous university like Harvard or Yale.
Go ahead and go to the piñata parties, but plan an escape route in advance. Unless of course, you think you can outrun a wasp. Good luck. Want to borrow my skate key?
For once I am speechless. SPEECHLESS.
ReplyDeleteI tend to have that effect on people.
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