I have pretty much spent most of this day feeling sorry for myself. It's been so bad, I espy a total stranger and I feel sorry for them, too. I'm feeling sorry for everyone on Facebook and anyone who calls me or emails me. I'm an equal opportunity pity person. So sorry if I extended you pity and you were actually having a good day.
I'm the only one I know that can hang on to a bad memory forEVER. I milk it. As a former friend also primarily responsible for most of my bad memories once so succinctly put it, "You love to WALLOW in memory." It's true. I'm a wallower. I can recount in colorful detail every single mistake I have ever made in my life. I can be out in the garden minding my own business pulling weeds in the tomatoes and suddenly a colorful memory envelops me and I've done a face plant into the green beans.
We're not talking about the nice things I have done. Nope. Nada. We're talking about the memories for which rugs and carpets were actually created: "Let's sweep that one under the carpet (rug), shall we?" We're talking about the bad stuff. On my worst days, I actually think my brother-in-law had it right. This may come as a surprise to you, but it was him who actually coined the phrase first when he pegged me as "The Biggest Loser". Of course, he didn't have the good sense to copyright the phrase, hence he is now the biggest loser.
I don't suppose anybody here except me has these kinds of days because you, of course, have never done anything that you regret. Seriously. As in you wish you could get a lobotomy. Honestly, I remember wishing I would get in a serious accident and awaken as one of those lucky amnesia victims on TV. I would have a permanent short in my spin cycle and wow, would I be happy.
Fatal memories weigh you down. They can make a bright day sad. They can cancel out the good things you know about yourself and replace them with all the dumb, stupid things you have ever done.
Here are some fatal memory examples: Joe Rencher, I'm really sorry. You know why. So do I. Let's not wallow in it. Joe Langston, I'm really sorry I drove your pick-up into the lake. On purpose. I hope you have forgiven me. David Wilson, Melvin Hall, I'm sorry I shot a hole in your brand new pick-up. We should have had that hunting discussion before the date. Steve Palmer, Lawrence Turley, etc . . . . . . . I'm really sorry. We just weren't on the same wave length, you know.
And those are just the people who have probably stopped wanting to kill me. I could name more names. But they're all living and they still want a piece of me. Or pretend they don't. Some of them get much more satisfaction from treating me as if I'm dead. That's fine by me. Zombies are so in, right now.
So-o-o-o. If you're thinking about doing something REALLY dumb. If you think it's worth it, stop for just a second. What you're about to read in five seconds will save you years of wishing for a lobotomy or amnesia - Whatever it is that you may think you want, you NEED, you deserve, YOU DON'T. Be happy with what you have. A good conscience is a lovely thing to behold - and even lovelier to own.
Memories can be fatal. Contrary to popular opinion, fatal memories never go away. They may fade with time. They may have been a painful, but unnecessary learning lesson, they might even humble you, remind you that you're human, give you empathy for the suffering of others. But always and forever, you don't need fatal memories in your mind.
Take this little tidbit from a friend: If you persist in gathering fatal memories, mark my words, One day, you will be out weeding tomatoes and do a face plant into the green beans.
Yours truly,
Your imperfect, memory wallowing friend.
I'm the only one I know that can hang on to a bad memory forEVER. I milk it. As a former friend also primarily responsible for most of my bad memories once so succinctly put it, "You love to WALLOW in memory." It's true. I'm a wallower. I can recount in colorful detail every single mistake I have ever made in my life. I can be out in the garden minding my own business pulling weeds in the tomatoes and suddenly a colorful memory envelops me and I've done a face plant into the green beans.
We're not talking about the nice things I have done. Nope. Nada. We're talking about the memories for which rugs and carpets were actually created: "Let's sweep that one under the carpet (rug), shall we?" We're talking about the bad stuff. On my worst days, I actually think my brother-in-law had it right. This may come as a surprise to you, but it was him who actually coined the phrase first when he pegged me as "The Biggest Loser". Of course, he didn't have the good sense to copyright the phrase, hence he is now the biggest loser.
I don't suppose anybody here except me has these kinds of days because you, of course, have never done anything that you regret. Seriously. As in you wish you could get a lobotomy. Honestly, I remember wishing I would get in a serious accident and awaken as one of those lucky amnesia victims on TV. I would have a permanent short in my spin cycle and wow, would I be happy.
Fatal memories weigh you down. They can make a bright day sad. They can cancel out the good things you know about yourself and replace them with all the dumb, stupid things you have ever done.
Here are some fatal memory examples: Joe Rencher, I'm really sorry. You know why. So do I. Let's not wallow in it. Joe Langston, I'm really sorry I drove your pick-up into the lake. On purpose. I hope you have forgiven me. David Wilson, Melvin Hall, I'm sorry I shot a hole in your brand new pick-up. We should have had that hunting discussion before the date. Steve Palmer, Lawrence Turley, etc . . . . . . . I'm really sorry. We just weren't on the same wave length, you know.
And those are just the people who have probably stopped wanting to kill me. I could name more names. But they're all living and they still want a piece of me. Or pretend they don't. Some of them get much more satisfaction from treating me as if I'm dead. That's fine by me. Zombies are so in, right now.
So-o-o-o. If you're thinking about doing something REALLY dumb. If you think it's worth it, stop for just a second. What you're about to read in five seconds will save you years of wishing for a lobotomy or amnesia - Whatever it is that you may think you want, you NEED, you deserve, YOU DON'T. Be happy with what you have. A good conscience is a lovely thing to behold - and even lovelier to own.
Memories can be fatal. Contrary to popular opinion, fatal memories never go away. They may fade with time. They may have been a painful, but unnecessary learning lesson, they might even humble you, remind you that you're human, give you empathy for the suffering of others. But always and forever, you don't need fatal memories in your mind.
Take this little tidbit from a friend: If you persist in gathering fatal memories, mark my words, One day, you will be out weeding tomatoes and do a face plant into the green beans.
Yours truly,
Your imperfect, memory wallowing friend.
I think we need to go paint. And soon. You need to wallow in paint while I giggle and take pictures.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because I grew up so near you that I seem to have the exact same outlook on life. I can honestly visualize so many stupid things I've done and just can't let it go. Wallowing. But the good news is... you're not alone! We all make mistakes (lots of them!) and you're apparently not the only wallower. (I'm making that a word)So hang in there and keep telling us things you shouldn't!
ReplyDeleteWe all have cringe moments in our lives. I don't think I've ever face planted in the green beans, at least not for that reason. I have had lots of cringe moments when I remember things that I have done. I supose that is the blessing of usint wisdom and hindsight together. Your advice reminds me of when I was working at a Stake Dance and one of the young women was trying to convince another to go with her to do something (never knew what) that her mother may not approve. As they were walking away the instigator stated "You only have one life to live". Your advice adds to that by saying, you only have one life to live, so choose wisely.
ReplyDeletePeople probably think I have a nervous tick, because whenever I remember doing something stupid, I shake my head to try and get rid of the memory. That happens pretty often. But as Jeffery R. Holland so beautifully put it, "We consume such precious emotional and spiritual capital clinging tenaciously to the memory of a discordant note we struck in a childhood piano recital". I don't want to waste my capital, so I do my best to move on and invest my thoughts in better subjects.
ReplyDelete