Fatal Memories

I have pretty much spent most of this day feeling sorry for myself. It's been so bad, I espy a total stranger and I feel sorry for them, too. I'm feeling sorry for everyone on Facebook and anyone who calls me or emails me. I'm an equal opportunity pity person. So sorry if I extended you pity and you were actually having a good day.

I'm the only one I know that can hang on to a bad memory forEVER. I milk it. As a former friend also primarily responsible for most of my bad memories once so succinctly put it, "You love to WALLOW in memory." It's true. I'm a wallower. I can recount in colorful detail every single mistake I have ever made in my life. I can be out in the garden minding my own business pulling weeds in the tomatoes and suddenly a colorful memory envelops me and I've done a face plant into the green beans.

We're not talking about the nice things I have done. Nope. Nada. We're talking about the memories for which rugs and carpets were actually created: "Let's sweep that one under the carpet (rug), shall we?" We're talking about the bad stuff. On my worst days, I actually think my brother-in-law had it right. This may come as a surprise to you, but it was him who actually coined the phrase first when he pegged me as  "The Biggest Loser". Of course, he didn't have the good sense to copyright the phrase, hence he is now the biggest loser.

I don't suppose anybody here except me has these kinds of days because you, of course, have never done anything that you regret. Seriously. As in you wish you could get a lobotomy. Honestly, I remember wishing I would get in a serious accident and awaken as one of those lucky amnesia victims on TV. I would have a permanent short in my spin cycle and wow, would I be happy.

Fatal memories weigh you down. They can make a bright day sad. They can cancel out the good things you know about yourself and replace them with all the dumb, stupid things you have ever done.

Here are some fatal memory examples: Joe Rencher, I'm really sorry. You know why. So do I. Let's not wallow in it. Joe Langston, I'm really sorry I drove your pick-up into the lake. On purpose. I hope you have forgiven me. David Wilson, Melvin Hall, I'm sorry I shot a hole in your brand new pick-up. We should have had that hunting discussion before the date. Steve Palmer, Lawrence Turley, etc  . . . . . . . I'm really sorry. We just weren't on the same wave length, you know.

And those are just the people who have probably stopped wanting to kill me. I could name more names. But they're all living and they still want a piece of me. Or pretend they don't. Some of them get much more satisfaction from treating me as if I'm dead. That's fine by me. Zombies are so in, right now.

So-o-o-o. If you're thinking about doing something REALLY dumb. If you think it's worth it, stop for just a second. What you're about to read in five seconds will save you years of wishing for a lobotomy or amnesia - Whatever it is that you may think you want, you NEED, you deserve, YOU DON'T. Be happy with what you have. A good conscience is a lovely thing to behold - and even lovelier to own.

Memories can be fatal. Contrary to popular opinion, fatal memories never go away. They may fade with time. They may have been a painful, but unnecessary learning lesson, they might even humble you, remind you that you're human, give you empathy for the suffering of others. But always and forever, you don't need fatal memories in your mind.

Take this little tidbit from a friend: If you persist in gathering fatal memories, mark my words, One day, you will be out weeding tomatoes and do a face plant into the green beans.

Yours truly,

Your imperfect, memory wallowing friend.

The Case for Barack Obama

Okay. Remember. I own this blog. Sort of. I'm going to be blunt and direct.

Time is short and the river is rising. November isn't very far away and we have a lot of mis-information, vitriol, and ridicule to swim through. I will be voting for Barack Obama for a number of reasons. Here are three of them: Decency, Leadership, Heart.

Barack Obama is a decent man. He could have been a drug dealer, given the shaky start he got. Instead, he is the President of the United States. He has courage. He is the epitome of a self-made man. He has a gift for leadership. He is widely respected and revered throughout the world. He has presided over a Congress with the lowest approval ratings in history and he has done it with dignity and grace. He is a family man and his dedication to his family is publicly demonstrated.

Barack Obama is a natural leader. He inherited an economic mess that nearly plunged us into a depression that would have made the first depression look like child's play. How soon we all forget who was responsible. Our present situation is not something our government created. Corporate greed and de-regulation of Wall Street brought us to the brink. Barack Obama has had to preside over a painful recovery made even more difficult because he has had to deal with a congress filled with obstructionists and know nothings who are blocking economic and political reforms.

Barack Obama has a heart. He has repeatedly defended the rights of the disenfranchised and the poor. He has expressed concern for the growing inequality in our society. Through sheer force of will, Obama confronted a disastrous health-care system that will bankrupt our Country if we can't get it fixed. Barack Obama has consistently kept attention on the needs of those least able to advocate for themselves. He best emulates the teachings of Jesus Christ and I'm serious about that comparison.

Decency. Leadership. Heart. Barack Obama does not deserve the vitriolic, hateful comments and opinions I see daily online. He is the President of the United States and he has served our Country faithfully and with tremendous courage and honor. I will be voting for him and hoping that he will represent our Country for another four years.

There. I'm done. For now.

On Becoming a Poet

I still haven't paid that traffic ticket. For some unaccountable reason, I'm having absolutely NO guilt feelings about it. NONE. I might feel a little regret if I'm ever caught speeding in Arizona again and have to spend the night with Sheriff Araipahoho or whatever the heck that bigot's name is. Remember him? He's the pot-bellied jackass Sheriff of Maricopa County that delights in housing inmates in tents and making them wear pink underwear. What goes around, comes around, Sheriff. I can't wait to see you in your own pink underwear and I hope it's August when they haul you into your little tent in the Arizona desert.

Since I titled this blog "On Becoming a Poet", I feel duty bound to at least try, so, here's the beginning of my sappy poem:

"I used to count the days when last I saw you,
Now I can't remember how many years since then,
I'm better now, and I've worked it through,
But I'm a liar, it's been almost exactly ten."

Right now, I can't think of a single person, place or thing to insult, aggravate, or offend. I'm having a slow day.

I usually pull Barack Obama out of my hat and irritate everyone with my steadfast loyalty. It never fails to irk nearly everyone I know. I'm just not feeling the love right now.

I do have some important thoughts and opinions. Give me a day or two to warm up.

Later.