Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Lawsuits


Hello,

I have done some fact checking and bought some insurance coverage against accusations of libel and slander. I know an attorney now. I'm ready to blog (blab) everything I know about everyone I know - and if I have a slow day, I'll just make stuff up. I'll probably make stuff up about the current political situation since everyone else seems to be doing it. I'm not averse to offensive retorts and certainly no saint in the retaliation department. Be forewarned.

So here we go. My first victim.

The Show Low, Arizona Police Department has seen fit to award me with a $249 speeding ticket through a radar controlled area of oh, about ten feet. I was caught at 14 mph over the speed limit. I got a notice in the mail with my (oops, somebody's) picture on it and the police are asking me if that's MY picture. Truthfully. Honestly. Candidly. What would YOU do?

"Why yes sir, that is most definitely my picture you took in that short ten feet speed trap. Yes, it's me, the speeding bandit. So sorry. Where can I pay my $249 speeding ticket? May I kiss your feet ?  May I enter Show Low, Arizona into the "best places NOT to EVER visit" contest?"

SHOW LOW,WOULD YOU MIND TAKING A FLYING LEAP INTO THE GRAND CANYON ALONG WITH YOUR RADAR CAMERA?

I never saw that woman in the radar photo before in my life, though I must say, she's a looker.

Nobody ever accused me of being a good person. No one's even mentioned it. No one's even come close. But I'm not bitter about that. We're about to find out the depth, the width, the breadth, and the heighth of my lack of a good reputation. Stay tuned.

You're going to get mad once in awhile. Just let me know and I'll make it worse for you.